THE OLE' U.S. OF A

You know, the people of the United States have a big problem. Almost everyone knows that, but if you ask various people what the big problem is, you’ll get different answers from all of them. You ask a “libertarian socialist” (I’ll talk about that later) and you’ll get this, “The selected President, Herr George W. Bush”. You ask Ann Coulter and you’ll get a colorful description of liberals as the big problem. You ask Ralph Nader and you’ll hear it’s the “Chevy Corvair” and etc., etc.

But the question is, what is the real big problem? The real big problem is pride. We, as a country, are not proud enough of the United States and all it has done. The United States is the greatest country on the face of the earth. We do good nearly everywhere we go, at the same time whipping ourselves like a penitent outside of a cathedral. Never before has the world seen a country so powerful, acting with no imperial ambitions willing to berate ourselves in a public forum for everything we do that doesn’t work out just perfectly (and even when it does).

In a short two hundred years, we have brought freedom and liberty to literally millions of people, never asking for much more that a place to bury our dead. We have brought democracy to tens of millions of people, thereby bringing peace to the regions.

What are you talking about, Mike?

Democracies (I mean real democracies, not those shams where the tyrant is re-elected with 99% of the vote, like in Iraq or Cuba) don’t go to war with other democracies. When was the last time you can name democracies attacking one another? It doesn’t happen. The United Sates and Canada have had the worlds longest undefended border; there hasn’t been a border dispute for over 150 years. That’s what I mean about democracies bringing peace to the world and no country has done more than the United States towards that goal.

So, to all you whiners and America-haters, I say “you suck!” Take a look around you, if all you see is corruption, evil and nightmares, try to tear your eyes away from the View-Master slides of Paris and take a look where you live. It’s the United States of America and it’s the best.