GAY MARRIAGE

Back on the very first day I opened Mel’s Diner, I talked about gay marriage. I said that was going to be the “next big thing” and it looks like I was right, (not that spotting that was rocket surgery).

Since then, we’ve had the Massachusetts Supreme Court mandate gay marriage in the People’s Republic and the leftist mayor of San Francisco (as if there would be any other kind of mayor) performing thousands of gay marriages, flagrantly ignoring the State law that defines marriage as a union of a man and a woman. This issue will divide this country and pit friend against friend before it is all over with.

“Next big thing”? Pit friend against friend”? What are you talking about, fat-boy?
What’s the big deal? Why shouldn’t gay people get married? They’re people, too…right?

Well, it’s a lot more complicated than that. The law says no discrimination between like groups and that makes good sense. Gays are people and strictly as matter of law, not receiving the benefits mandated by state law to heterosexuals (other people, even though that might be news to big media) is discrimination, in a strictly legal sense. But that’s not the problem here. The problems goes much deeper than statutes and codes and it doesn’t have all that much to do with religion, either.

The problem is marriage. Well, marriage isn’t a problem, per se, but that’s the crook of the whole question. What is marriage? More specifically, what is marriage FOR? That’s a question asked by a lot of the freewheeling, crazy kids today, but they aren’t even coming close to an answer. What marriage is for is to offer a stable base in which to raise children. That’s what marriage is for. It’s not for your own personal growth, it’s not so you don’t have to go looking for it every night, it’s not for someone to mow the lawn. It’s all about the kids.

What? People get married everyday and don’t have kids; how can it be all about the kids?

Well, kids are what makes the world go ‘round – literally. Without kids, there’s no tomorrow. Surprisingly, even before atomic bombs, before nuclear winter, global warming, petroleum products, baby-seal killing, etc. lack of children was the original “no tomorrow”. Just ask the Neanderthals.

And that’s what marriage is all about. It’s not about creating kids - any idiot with half a brain can do that, but it’s about raising children. Before the age of Aquarius and welfare, raising children was really difficult and two people, working to raise their own kids was the best way to make good adults. Sure, two people could raise children that weren’t their own, but the attachment and long term commitment wasn’t there and raising your own kid alone had the commitment, but not the means to do it WELL. So, the optimum arrangement was two parents raising their own kids. If they obviously couldn’t have children (same-sex marriage), then society wanted nothing to do with getting these two married.

But, you said before the welfare state? Now that we have that, shouldn’t we step back from the one man-one woman thing? Well, no. One man-one woman, two parent household is STILL the best way to raise kids. Study after study has shown this. Sure, gay/lesbian “parents” can raise their children well and give them a good life, but the odds are against it. GLAAD will now be boycotting Mel’s Diner because I said that, but that’s too bad – I don’t really care what women in short hair and plaid and well dressed men with moisturized skin have to say about me.

So, to summarize. Gay marriage is all about marriage and marriage is all about the kids – and gay marriage isn’t it that.